


When You Give an Immortal a Pet

by happilyinsane13



Series: The Adventures of Ivan the Terribly Adorable [1]
Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Aunt Andy, Family Bonding, Fluff, Immortal Dads, Immortal Husbands Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Multi, Nile Freeman-centric, SO MUCH FLUFF, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:01:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26019982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happilyinsane13/pseuds/happilyinsane13
Summary: Nile Freeman is lucky to have the team she has but she gets lonely sometimes. Nicky and Joe have each other. Andy has confidence and whoever she wants to sleep with that night. So Nile decides to get something to talk to.In other words, the time Nile decides to hide a pet from her immortal family.
Relationships: Booker | Sebastien le Livre & Nile Freeman, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Nile Freeman & Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani & Nicky | Nicolo di Genova, Nile Freeman & Nicky
Series: The Adventures of Ivan the Terribly Adorable [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1904506
Comments: 23
Kudos: 347





	When You Give an Immortal a Pet

The past year for Nile had been full of ups and downs. Being a part of an army of four was hard. But being part of an army of three immortals and one mortal who still crashed through doors as if bullets couldn’t stop her? That was a whole new level of stress.

Half of the time Nile didn’t mind because about a quarter of the time they were all just… living. Traveling, going to museums, hiking, reading, or just… being. Those days were some of the best. And by the time they got bored Copley called for another mission and they were kicking up their adrenaline again, fighting for what they believed was right. 

But sometimes on those quiet days she was just… lonely. Nile understood that everyone needs alone time. Nicky and Joe needed time to just be together or even by themselves (although usually within mere feet of each other) and Andy just was… Andy. Taking strolls from sunrise until sunset and coming back scraped and bruised from a tumble down a hill on her hike or a bar fight with a misogynistic asshole who thought it was okay to grope the woman at the bar. She’d come back, limping and grunting and never ceasing to cause Nicky and Joe to run around her like chickens with their heads cut off, fussing over her like she was a child. 

During those times Andy would roll her eyes as Nile calmly, cooly, brought over the first aid kit and began to patch Andy up. 

“Is Nile the only useful one out of the three of you?” Andy would drawl. “For fuck’s sake she’s the only one that doesn’t treat me like I’m paper!”

Joe huffed and Nicky continued to fuss, grabbing bandages from Nile and applying them wherever Nile had cleaned. Nile was focused and had a steady hand. She technically had been mortal longer than immortal at this point.

But Nile got lonely. Her whole life she had rarely been alone. Growing up she always had her little brother following her around or her mom telling her what to do. She was social at school. When she joined the marines she was TRULY never alone then, sharing everything including her time and space. 

On days like that, when Joe and Nicky had absconded to the market and Andy was off being her mysterious, stubborn self, Nile had at first started writing letters to Booker. She felt a kinship with him, the connection of lingering family. He wrote back, but slowly. At times his letters were a mess ink and spilled whiskey. She was always amazed that the address he had written on the envelope to the post boxes she rented out had been legible enough to make it that far. She was sure some of them hadn’t. She hid them at the bottom of her rucksack so she always had them when they had to move safe houses. 

But lately not even that satisfied her. She was staring out the window of a small safe house in Switzerland, in the canton of Graubünden, not too far from the mountainous Italian border. It was snowing outside and beyond the snow and the trees. Nile knew the lights in the village shops were on and people were getting their Friday shopping done. She could imagine them scurrying in the frigid cold trying not to slip on the slush and icy cobblestones. 

Nile didn’t know where the others were. She had awoken late to a note from Joe and Nicky on the coffee table about being out and that there was coffee on the stove. No note from Andy, which wasn’t strange. So Nile had sat there for hours trying not to let her thoughts consume her. She just wish she could talk at someone or something… like when she was little and in Mrs. Robinson’s kindergarten class she didn’t want to nap so she would whisper to…

And suddenly, a thought came to her.

Acting quickly Nile grabbed her puffy coat, mittens, a beanie, and a scarf. After pulling on her black boots she dashed into the cold. She would have to get in and out of town before the others got back if this was going to work. 

* * *

2 hours later and Nile was back, sitting in her small room, looking through the newly bought cage of a Syrian hamster. He was shuffling along the newly bought fluff of the cage, burrowing and peaking his head out occasionally. He would look at her for an odd second or two before burrowing again. Exploring his little wheel, his wooden chews, the little bowl that he had to climb through a tunnel up the cage to get to that contained his feed. Nile had watched him for 15 minutes in the store, chomping thoughtfully on sunflower seeds and peanuts. 

“Alright Ivan,” Nile said, smiling through the cage at the little ball of golden fluff as he dived once again into the shreds of tissue. “You’re with me now, you hear? And that means I look after you. I promise I’ll do my best.”

Ivan poked his head out, scratched his tiny ear rapidly with his hind leg, and then dove back down to explore the bottom of his cage. Nile giggled and instantly felt her heart lighten. She had kept hamsters as a young girl as they had been much cheaper than bigger animals. She had always gotten one at a time over a span on years and that little rodent would be her companion, her confidant. 

Nile’s only predicament was how was she going to hide Ivan from the others?

Nile had some time to think on it. The four of them were officially on winter break for themselves as the snow layered itself on thick in the village. Nile hid Ivan on the other side of her bed away from the door just in case anyone walked in. Luckily the others were pretty good about respecting her space. But she had to think on what to do once this long layover ended and they were back to accepting missions from Copley. She couldn’t exactly stuff a hamster into her shirt every time they moved to a new safe house…

Nile could not, for the life of her, come up with any sane ideas. When she had finally gotten to the point where she was seriously considering hiding Ivan under a baseball cap on her head, she knew it was time to ask for help. Problem was, she only had one person she could ask…

Nile wrote a hurried letter and walked into the village the next morning on the pretense of getting more milk, bread, and coffee beans (it wasn’t strictly untrue as Joe and Andy were about to commit heinous acts of murder if they didn’t get any caffeine soon). On her way to the store she quietly slipped her letter in a mailbox, addressed to one Seb Le Livre in Paris. 

A reply came much more promptly then Nile had expected. Only a week and a half after sending her original letter she received a reply in her P.O. Box and when she ripped the envelope open she was even more shocked, pleasantly so, when the letter was nearly legible. 

_ Nile,  _

_ What the live long fuck possessed you? You know the minute Joe and Andy find it they’re going to roast it over a fire, right? They used to EAT those things! _

_ Your best bet is Nicky. Come clean to him and he’ll help you. He likes small, cute things. _

_ Best of luck, kiddo.  _

_ Booker _

_ P.S. Seriously, THEY WILL EAT HIM.  _

Well that was useless, Nile thought grimly. She sighed and pocketed the letter before trudging back to their safe house in the bitter winter wind. 

What Nile met when she opened the door to their little home was not what she expected.

Joe and Andy were standing on the couch in the small living space, screaming and point at something Nicky held in his hands as he sat cross legged on the floor. Andy was holding what looked like a very expensive hard backed first edition of Les Miserables above her head, fully prepared to fling it at Nicky’s hands. 

“What the fuck is that thing doing here?” she shrieked, very unlike the poised warrior Nile knew Andy to be. 

“Nicky, my heart, you must crush it and then we’ll eat it. This cannot continue scurrying around the house!” Joe exclaimed, reaching over to pry the book out of Andy’s hands. Whether to save it or use it himself, Nile wasn’t sure. 

Nicky looked positively scandalized. 

“No, Joe!” he said, holding his hands closer to his chest, looking up at his lover and friend in horror. “He is so tiny and defenseless. He cannot help his form. How did you get here, small one?” he cooed at the object in his hands. 

It was at that moment that Nile saw a golden fluff ball peer from the haven of Nicky’s hands and chatter. 

“I’m with Joe, we should eat him,” Andy said and with that Nile burst forward. 

“You can’t eat Ivan!” she exclaimed, rushing to Nicky’s side, flinging herself on the floor next to him and shielding Ivan’s small body with larger one. In effect, she really just ended up blocking Nicky’s view of the action. Nicky popped his head up from behind Nile’s head, looking at her questioningly. 

“Ivan?” he asked.

“Ivan??” Joe and Andy echoed. 

Suddenly Nile felt a heated blush creep up her neck and she cast her eyes to the ground. She muttered something incoherent. 

“What?” Joe asked, leaning forward to try and hear. 

Nile muttered again, this time turning around and cupping her hands for Nicky to gently deposit the golden hamster into her awaiting hold. 

“What?” Nicky asked although, Andy noticed, he had a shit eating grin on his face that relayed he heard more than he let on. 

“I SAID,” Nile exclaimed, “His name is Ivan the Terribly Adorable and he’s mine so you CAN’T. EAT. HIM!”

There was a silence that lasted for what seemed like eons as Nile waited, the only sound was Ivan chittering in her hands. 

“500 from both of you, please and thank you,” Nicky said, standing up and walking over to Andy and Joe. Both cursed and growled as they extracted 500 euros each from their pockets and slammed into Nicky’s waiting palm. 

Nile gaped at them. 

“You knew?”

Nicky shrugged as he counted the money in his hands. 

“We didn’t know exactly but…”

“Nicky had a bet that you were hiding a pet,” Andy said, finally settling down on the couch with a sigh. “I thought you were fucking someone in the village. Joe was convinced you were an innocent flower.”

Joe also flopped down on the couch, grumbling, “Well when you put it like that it sounds dumb.”

Andy put her hands behind her head, leaning back into the couch, her eyes inquisitive. 

“Why did you get a rodent, kid?”

“Yeah, seriously, we used to eat those when we traveled in Syria,” Joe said. 

Nile looked at Ivan, a wave of melancholy welling up within her. 

“I was lonely,” she said softly. 

Joe sat up and Nicky was once again at Nile’s sad, his hand on her shoulder. Andy stayed in the same position but her eyes were clearing as she started putting the pieces together. 

“Joe and Nicky can spend time with each other. Andy always finds something to do…”

“Or someone,” Joe smirks before being elbowed sharply in the ribs. 

Nile lets out a watery chuckle, realizing to her horror that tears are actually starting to slide down her cheeks. 

“I just wanted something to talk to,” Nile said. “I know alone time is important. Sacred even. But I’ve… never really been alone.”

Nicky leaned his head to rest on Nile’s, taking her under his arm and holding her tightly. Joe smiled and slid to the floor to flank Nile’s other side. 

“Sorry, Nile,” Nicky said quietly into her braids. “We didn’t realize.”

Andy finally leaned forward and sighed. She leaned forward and poked Nile gently in the forehead. 

“The lunch meat can stay,” she said. “But you’re the one who is going to arrange with Copley a pet sitter for when we’re on jobs.”

Nile nodded, tears streaming in rivulets down her face. Joe kissed her head. 

Andy sighed.

“Just… tell us next time.”

“Okay…”

“And maybe just fuck someone next time.”

“No Andromache! Nile is an innocent flower!”

“That is bullshit and you know it.”

“Oh Joe, my love, we cannot protect her forever.”

“I would still prefer a whole menagerie of edible rodents to that alternative.”

“Ummm… y’all know I’m a grown ass woman right?”

“Shhhhhhhhh…”

“Let’s talk about the name Ivan the Terribly Adorable.”


End file.
